Promises
by BML Hillen-Keene
Summary: Second story of the 'Children Series'. Cloud makes Tifa a Promise. Set 6 months before Advent Children.


_Disclaimer: Do not own._

**Promises**

_"Hey, how pretty!" Tifa said, her eyes glued to the theme park as it passed below._

_All I could think was '_Yes, how pretty'_._

_"Look Cloud." She breathed, leaning closer to the window of the gondola, staring down. "Oh Cloud."_

_I wished I could find my voice to tell her. '_I am looking Tifa. I can't take my eyes away_.' The crack and sparkle of the fireworks as the shot out, exploding in glorious colours saved her from noticing my struggling for the words._

_"…it's really pretty, isn't it?" _

_She smiled then, just a small one as she stared at the fireworks. Bright dots of colour exploding and fading in her eyes, one hand pressed to the window as if she could reach through it and capture a stray spark. I wished I could have reached out and captured that smile in that moment._

_'… _Really pretty_…' I wanted to say, and I wanted her to _know _I wasn't talking about the fireworks, or the theme park…_

_"Ok, I'm going to just go ahead and say it." And she turned to face me then, catching me looking at her. Flustered all I could do was cross my arms and dart my gaze from hers._

_"What?" colder than I had intended._

_She dropped her eyes then, looking away from me and back out the window. Her voice dropping, the confidence I knew was in her fading to nothing. "Aerith would be able to come out and say it, probably"_

_'_Aerith_?' I wanted to ask. '_What has Aerith got to do with this_? _With you_? _With us_?'_

_She sighed lightly, drawing my full attention back to the moment, away from the confusing mixture of feelings I did have for Aerith. "Cloud, sometimes being old friends is hard… timing is everything…" she trailed off then, unsure._

_"…Yeah." I answered slowly, because it was. Being old friends made everything so confusing… made being around her so…_

_"… Cloud… I…"_

_There was silence, as I waited for her to say something… anything. To say one word that would help me understand all of this… this longing I had inside me. One word that could explain why my eyes continued to stray to her at the most inopportune moments… why in battle my heart stopped for a moment every time she got hurt…_

_But she said nothing, and I was not brave enough to say a single thing myself, and the ride ended._

_"Cloud I really had fun tonight." She told me, smiling… but there was a sadness behind it that pained me to see._

_"By the way, what did you want to say a minute ago…?" I asked her, some part of me hoping that with some prodding she might be able to say what I couldn't._

_She blushed and looked everywhere but at me. "N, Nothing. Nothing." She said, smiling widely and waving a hand as if to ward off the question. "Oh! Look at the time, we should be getting back" she latched onto the excuse desperately._

That was how that conversation had ended, and after that so many things kept happening, one on top of the other, Aerith dying, my breakdown. The truth finally becoming known. I think, somewhere along the way there must have been some sort of understanding between us, never spoken, never labelled.

I watch her now, as she flits about the bar, wiping down tables, readying the place for the night. It would be stupid of me to not admit that I am attracted to her. She is beautiful. She always has been, in every way. There are parts of her I will admit to admiring more than others; and if I ever see her in anything that covers more of her legs than her shorts do unless there's a damn good reason I may be forced to take some sort of drastic action.

I may be damaged, but I'm not dead, or stupid.

Which is why I know that this arrangement is not going to last forever; not as it is. Not without some sort of commitment from me. A commitment I find myself unable to make. I want her, I do, I want her for as long as I can have her, and I know she'd stay with me, without me even asking. Just there, never asking for anything, never demanding…

It brings my heart so close to breaking every time I think on it that I'm surprised no one has noticed. But I suppose to the others I am just Cloud, closed off from my feelings, so obsessed with Sephiroth, Aerith and finding who and what I am, that I would have no time to think on other things… more important things.

Like Tifa.

In actuality though, I do nothing but think about her lately. About all that she has offered me, and what I can give her in return. I don't pretend that I'm not still that confused kid from years ago. I'm not pretending that I don't still have issues with Aerith and my guilt over her death. I do have those issues, and until I can sort them out then I'm never going to be able to give enough of myself to Tifa to make her happy…

The kindest thing to do would be to turn away from her, walk away and leave her now, that way she'd have a chance at happiness I might never be able to give her. But I am a selfish man, and no matter how I try to convince myself to let her go, to let her move on, I can never bring myself to leave. She's like the candle to my moth, I'd always come back.

"Tifa." I call her, my fingers clammy and warm around the small piece of metal in my hand.

She turns from her work, a slight puzzled frown on her face, but she leaves the bar to come and stand in front of me. "Cloud?" she asked, her expression caught halfway between confusion and teasing.

I reach out and take one of her hands, pressing my palm to hers and leaving the item I'm holding in her hand. What we have will never last, not unless I give her some sign of my commitment. And I cannot bear to let her go.

In her hand is my mother's engagement ring. The ring I had taken from my mother body as Nibelhiem was burning, determined to keep something to remember her by, and by some miracle it had survived. She had often shown it to me, the ring given to her by the one true love of her life, my father, who had disappeared before I was born and never returned. My mother had always hoped he would come back and marry her, the ring was, for her, all the commitment she needed from him, and I hoped Tifa understood the significance.

And I hope with all my heart that she will realise that I do not want to be like my father.

"Give me time?" I ask her.

She is silent and stares at the ring for the longest of times, but I am patient, and able to hide my nervousness and anxiety well.

At long last her fingers curled around the ring and she pulled it close to her chest and her eyes rose to meet mine. "As long as you need Cloud." She told me, serious and iron-clad.

There was a moment, in between the relief and the elation, in which I couldn't help but hate myself for trapping her in this way. Thinking that perhaps there might be more of my unknown father in me that I would like.

'_Not too long Tifa…_' I want to tell her. '_I just need to sort some things out, a few months, a year… but I will not take that ring, or it's meaning back from you._'

Instead I just nod, trying to convey as much as I can of what I feel through it. I can't be sure if she understands what I want to say. But I hope she can, and I hope that it will be enough.

'_I love you_'

*x*

_1) Spawned by the fact that Tifa is wearing what looks like an engagement or wedding ring in Advent Children, and my own hope that Cloud really does love her under all his issues._

_2)This might not be what you think goes on in Clouds head, and to be honest I never expected to write it this way, it was meant to be in the third person, but I think it does work better like this, as it is Cloud's feelings I'm examining here._

_3) Those lines at the start in the flashback, the actual lines of the game! I copied them down when I reached that part yesterday when I was playing… it made me really want to write this little story, and gave me the opening I needed._

_4) Please forgive the liberties I have taken with Cloud's character, but he is a difficult character to pin down the innermost thoughts of. However, I do hope you have enjoyed it, and please review._

_5) The official second story of the Children Series, set before Advent Children to explain the ring and why they're not sleeping in the same bed!_


End file.
